ChristianPage

Christians in Midlife Why a Christian Page? Most recent research indicates that one in five North-American’s profess a personal “faith”. Of this growing population segment the “Christian” faith takes the lead with the “Pentecostal” group showing the most rapid advancement worldwide. Yet the "silence" from this segment concerning male depression and midlife crisis is deafening. This doesn’t mean that this midlife transition non-existant for Christians – to the contrary; it exists in critical proportions yet is often left unexposed and without aid from the churches. Dr Archibald Hart puts it this way: In my experience... being a Christian doesn't make us immune to depression. If anything, we might even become more sensitive to injustices and life's pains, so we feel with and for others who hurt. But Christians have resources available that can help them cope with life and their depressions more effectively. Unfortunately, the church hasn't adequately taught people how those resources can be applied to emotional problems such as depression. Sadly, some Christians are suspicious of any form of psychological help, even if it's offered by thoroughly evangelical psychologists. We have a long way to go before our Christianity embraces the whole person — body, mind, and spirit.*** Furthermore Dr Hart says depression is a secret pain at the core of many men's lives, and one that goes largely undiagnosed and untreated. The consequences of not treating male depression are extremely serious. Studies show that suicide is more common in men than women, and that the male suicide rate is three times higher at midlife than at any other life stage. The secrecy shrouding the very real issue of male-midlife depression has evolved through the Church world to the place that it is seldom even discussed amongst the clergy and is often considered as embarrassing to the victorious Christian life. FortySixty.Org recognizes that the need for Christian men and women in midlife to openly address their needs in a private environment is paramount. This sanctuary for midlife Christian men exists right here in our forums with an additional private forum for wives men in the Womens Forum section. ***Dr Archibald Hart is dean and professor of psychology of the Graduate School of Psychology, Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California. He is the author of 32 books including “Unmasking Male Depression”.Back to the Top

Christian Men in Midlife Crisis There is an urgent need to address the issues of Christian men in midlife crisis as unique from other midlife issues. Even men that have lived a morally upstanding life are at midlife simply are not immune from crisis. This rain falls on both the just and the unjust creating confusion in the lives of Christian men in midlife and their families. Midlife crisis and male depression includes a completely different dimension for a Christian man not experienced outside the faith. When a Christian man begins self-medicating his depression he often finds himself in severe compromise of his convictions even to the violation of his belief structure. If that man’s midlife crisis includes an extra-marital affair he may even be at risk of his very life. We can no longer avoid talking about midlife crisis in Christian men. Conventionally such issues are hidden from view – “swept beneath the carpet” in Christian churches. Midlife Christian men and their families have very little support available to counter this cruel trial of their faith. A Christian man in midlife may feel like a failure to both God and his faith. Overwhelming feelings of guilt threaten him constantly and his very natural reaction to this guilt is to suppress it. Repeated suppression over a period of time will sear his conscience and eventually harden his heart leading many eventually to divorce. Feeling ostracized for his compromise in the Christian community, this man feels even more alone than his contemporaries in the world. He questions his faith and reevaluates his life on the basis of his Christian “walk” as well as his life’s goals. When he finds these both wanting he becomes further detached from family and friends. Even the potential of this happening to him leads him to create a secret inner life. He hides this away from his spouse and hopes (not prays) that what he is feeling, thinking, or doing will never be exposed. Christian families are often devastated by the compromises of a man in midlife crisis. Still, there is hope for Christian men in midlife crisis. Even though you may feel you have set your faith aside, God still has his eye on you. The promise that He will never leave you nor forsake you will not and cannot end at the beginning of your compromise. The Men’s Forum has a section specifically for Christian men in midlife transition or crisis. You are required to register with an anonymous USER NAME under which you post, reply, and ask questions of other men in a safe environment. No one will condemn you in this forum and you will find help through this very critical time. The men’s forum is not visible to the world at large and is not available to women who have their own (invisible) forum on this site. Please answer the following questionnaire for yourself to determine if you should proceed into the Christian Men’s Forum:  My life is the “pits” when it should be “joy unspeakable and full of glory”  I feel sad  I feel confined, restrained  I feel constant pressure to perform  I feel alone  I just don’t care anymore; but I do…  I feel like a failure  I feel depressed  I often feel guilty  I am no longer happy as a Christian  I have failed in the ministry (for ministers)  I don’t want to live like a Christian anymore  I want to be a Christian; I just don’t want the rules that come along with it  I just want to get away from it all (and perhaps still be a Christian privately)  My wife doesn’t understand me; I hope at times she doesn’t anyway  I just need someone to talk to that understands  I don’t want to talk to anyone that knows me  If anyone ever found out what I was (doing, thinking, feeling, saying) they would never accept me this way  I feel I have compromised my personal convictions like I have failed God  If I could get away with it I would ______ (fill in blanks)  I have consuming thoughts of women and sex  I have a secret life  My life would be over if anyone found out…  I think I have committed unpardonable sin Your Score :  0 to 4 – You probably don’t need this site; but do visit your Pastor or counselor.  5 to 7 – You are leaning heavily toward a “crisis”, be proactive and get involved now.  8 to 15 – Join without delay.  15 to 25 – Email the site administrator for priority inclusion in the forum. Back to the Top

If you have questions or would like to make a comment Please click HERE to send your message. Back to the Top